Cockney Sparrow Shysters

Cockney Sparrow Shysters

The sparrow, is a small brown bird that was very common in many cities streets, parks and hedge rows of the UK, it was common up until the early 18/19th century when it could be seen in small communal social flocks making chirps and twittering sounds, foraging for insects, seeds and around noses bags (feed bags) at feeding time for horses. They did also hang around horse droppings for undigested residue/seed.

The term cockney sparrow, has over time been attributed to a singing voice, a book and a description of a small feisty person, particularly one of London were a person may have been born within ‘earshot of the bells of St Mary- le-bow church’ so being ‘a cockney’ and attached by the supposed social cohesion that cockneys displayed during a time of past threat. More generally being a cockney had later been applied by northerners, as anyone from London whom may have an London ‘accent’ (and so far as Londoners were concerned anything north of Watford gap or ‘the home counties’ was north i.e. northerner) both cockney and northerner where with slight derogatory overtones.

What is less known is that the term ‘cockney sparrow’ was applied originally to specific people not held in high regards due to their particular activity. Prior to the advent of motorised vehicle, the horse was the beast engine of transport. It was so prolific in the1800s that in cities (London) the amount of horse dung manure was a serious health hazard with flies, the smell and in danger of clogging the roads to a standstill. In key affluent areas a band of boys/men were paid to shovel the stuff up into wheelbarrows and cart it away as fertiliser. In less affluent streets boys would swoop in and do the same; neither earning more than a few pence. It was, due to the volume of horse dung being expelled onto the streets, a necessary important role but due to the nature of the task, it was not seen as a pleasant one to be observed by the sensitivities of the affluent classes. However in clearing the manure these boys/men became known as ‘sparrow starvers’ as a number (flocks) of them would descend around areas to clean up the (rich) pickings thereby depriving the sparrows of food. Their task though was therefore viewed in a disparaging way. This term cockney sparrow became more of a proud insult attached to these boys but with the arrival of motorised vehicles in the early 20^th century up to circa 1950 their collection activity coincided as a cause to the decline in the number of flocks of sparrows in cities. These boys/men were the alternative un-bird-like cockney sparrows and that is why they were eventually named, cockney sparrows, mimicking some element of the popular ubiquitous birds. But were the sparrows (birds) were a pleasant, cheerful, sight and sound, the alternative cockney sparrows became not so well thought of even though in doing what they did, it did contribute to making some streets more bearable for foot traffic.

One knows it is stretching any unlikely coincidences to make a point using the above as example but the valuable tradition of cockney sparrows in cleaning the streets of London (where the description came from) and other cities from being inundated by horse shit; which was a problem so much of the time and taken seriously enough to be held important to be discussed in parliament to find measures to eliminate the stench, flies and mess so despised by all the unfortunate citizens obliged to live and work in the area and whom had no county seat to retreat to for refreshing R&R, it did bring to mind an odd unsound observation.

Currently little England is still grappling with the unresolved debacle of self inflicted stupidity amply demonstrated by the horrendous shenanigans in the fight over who is to succeed (or fail) the Maybots efforts to stuff the UK economy into a land of paradise fit for the deserving believers. The brawl is between two contenders.

Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson: Born in New York City on 19.6.1964, to prosperous upper-middle class English parents. Boris Johnson (BoJo) was educated at the European School of Brussels, Ashdown House, and Eton College. He worked as journalist at The Times later sacked for fabrication news then later as a Brussels correspondent. His septic articles, as a euro-sceptic, played to influence the British political right wing and media base. As a British politician, and current MP for Uxbridge and South Ruislip since 2015, he started as MP for Henley in 2001/2008 then as mayor of London 2008/2016 followed in 2016/18 as Foreign Secretary. In all his roles he distinguished himself for being unfamiliar with, what might be considered by normal balanced personalities, acceptable rules of due diligence and behaviour in the public arena.

As the likely contender for the PM spot, his tenuous policy platform, is based on achieving a hard (at any cost) Brexit, cut taxes for the wealthy and spend billions but is unchallenged as to where the money is to come from.

BOJO has over time been described as a dissembler; liar, incoherent, yank, fabricator, disingenuous, mendacious, evasive, spurious, specious, flippant, (add your own positive adjectives, if any) casual with economic and political specifics and excreting platitudes of concern of no consequence and does not mean a thing he says, should it hinders his self promotion.

Jeremy Richard Streynsham Hunt: (cHunt) Born in Kennington on 1 November 1966, the son of a senior officer in the Royal Navy. Studied PPE at Magdalen College oxford, elected as Conservative DU Party MP in 2005 for South West Surrey and becoming health secretary for some 5 years leading to foreign secretary in 2018. Having held a number of briefs during his tenure as MP, his prominent role being health secretary for the NHS seems to have done little to reinstate investment deliberately taken out by the CDUP and Liberal party austerity drive building up to a conflict with physician over pay, pensions and the lack consultant weekend availability; which was used as the cause of a higher death rates at weekends (evidence for which was later proved false) gave force to providing in the NHS 24hrs 7 day ‘unfunded’ weekend consultantancy. His now, often irritatingly quoted strong suit, was his entrepreneurial business experience (“I’m a business man who can do deals”) This ‘experience’ drawn from having 3 early failed start-ups and gaining 1 success in 1990s with a company for a IT directory for education guidance courses, a major client fortunately being the British Council. Eventually selling the business and pocketing £14M in 2017. He has come around to possibly seeing better future opportunity and prospects, by being paid by the tax pound.

Initially he was one of the ‘Remainers’ but is now an unconvinced Brexiteer, for a hard or soft deal. He says he will cut taxes for businesses and spend billions on defence, health, social care etc but is also like BoJo unchallenged as to where the money is to come from.

He has been describes as flexible opportunist, egotistical, self centre, fixed and disingenuous with business dealings particularly over the news corp. BskyB takeover and denies connection with a plan to the de-nationalisation of the NHS (privatise). He is the punters outsider in the race, even though his position is more balanced in presentation, it does outstrip BoJo.

These two are intent on fighting each other with a much verbosity, inane vague ‘aspiration’ of spending plans for education, health, defence, social care and no tax requirements ever mentioned. All is devoid of any rational practical basis on solving the impasse of the past 3 + years with any degree of new enlighten ideas other than to attempt to bully and threaten in a potential fit of paroxysm, 28 nations as a way of negotiating a good deal. Substantial better than what has gone before for 46 years?

Listening to these two characters, go over the same well worn Maybot verbiage ground, happy to make the hard decisions, deliver the game changing strategy and roll over contradiction of salient views; persuading any to be convinced of their suitability, veracity, integrity and trustworthiness, is just for the birds. It is just like hearing the soft plop of fresh shit hitting the deck. In their case the diatribe of spouting effluence is spread around with little regard of who it gets dumped on. In some way their promotional presentation of fitness for the task is initially aimed at the 160K paid up members who only will make the decision to crown one of them Prime Minister and one can image all of these members still flocking around eagerly to swoop up the pearls of dung for their continuing affluence and sustenance; which seems to be what one observes and hears from their self promotion hustle’s and indicates the essence of the whole supportive Conservative Democratic Unionist Party.

Regrettable the unsustainable verbal paradise shit is also being spread generously for the rests of the MPs of   Conservative DU Party, members whom it must be remembered pushed these two birds as their favourite choice of the sparrow flock and more importantly, the majority of the whole population that has absolute no influence on the outcome of this despicable political episode. One has to bear in mind these two twittering dodos, with their privilege educated £-40K p.a. backgrounds and affluent ‘network’ of connections, have little perceptive understanding of 80% of the working population, mostly having to lifestyle on an average wage of -£28K p.a. One might contend that given the history of the (Maybot proclaimed) “nasty party” they give a good representation of what is wrong with the whole sphere and character of UK political representation dominated for decades by cockneys.

But, as is said, ‘we are where we are’ and these two cockney shysters spread their own postulated dung for all of the UK to fester in and have nothing of their own as a legitimate democratic mandate. Should either one make a mess of it all there may be little choice but to ask the people again. Against the odds, ones punt would be on cHunt to be crowned PM, assuming that there a modicum of intelligent analysis by the 160 paid up members of the existential risks in the decision they are about to make. At least he may have a fair grasp of what needs to be done but the Conservative DU Party are in a precarious position nailed as they are to the mast of the sinking Brexit boat, they will do anything to remain in power and avoid the gifting the crown, terrified as they are of the other potential cockney who just may have to be the cockney sparrow to clean it all up.

But just now there are no obvious imminent tangible cockney sparrows around to sweep the stinking verbal effluent away, the only likely one hides in the shape of:-

Jeremy Bernard Corbyn:  Born 26 5.1949 MP for Islington North since 1983. Leader of the opposition since 2015. Brexiteer and disinclined Remainer, (maybe) activist, campaigner, pacifist, closeted communist. Ideologically identifies himself as a democratic socialist. Although his initial stance on the changes that need to be made to the economy, social structure, inequalities etc chimed with the mood of the austerity times, (or  over the past century) his performance as leader and manager of the Labour party has been lamentable. For a party to be so wracked with media derision, inept administration, floundering in directive policies and disregarded by the majority of a voting public, is, at an opportune time like this, astounding! For the Labour party his chances of becoming the sweeper are slim.

Well, to elongate the sparrow metaphors further, over the past 85 years there have been 18 PM’s of the UK, 12 have been cockneys, i.e. southerner sparrows and 6 of the northern variety; all have been chirping, twittering away and it seems that in participating in reaching the fracturing terminus of the country just now, that the foot-traffic has stopped listening and don’t care much for the droppings from anyone.

Maybe it is time for a cuckoo to perch in the whole political shysters’ nests; yet another perverse analogy to play with?

© Renot

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